An Omelet of Zen

When I was in Japan, I was exposed to Buddhism and caught a mild case of it.  It was left untreated for almost two decades though and it is now to the point where it is completely incurable.  Now considering most of my audience is sure to be Caucasian Judeo-Christian types, you can rest assured that Buddhism did not compel me to shave my head (my hair actually left on its own volition years ago), dress in our table linen and head to the airport to start selling pencils.  That was the result of accidentally mixing tequila and some prescription anxiety medications.  What Buddhism did compel me to do though  was meditate.  I will likely give you the story of my conversion later, but I can tell you that it was meditation that introduced me to Buddhism and caused me to seek out more about it.  And before you go thinking that meditation can cause one to reject Christianity and seek solace in foreign religions, let me ensure you that it can not, and does not want to, do any such thing.  I had a very eye-opening experience in a church when I was 13 or 14 that had effectively turned me into an atheist, and was drawn to Buddhism to fill the void because of its tenets encouraging free thought, tolerance and open-mindedness.

Anyway, I might consider myself a Buddhist, but it does not mean that I consider myself a good one.  I do meditate, trying to clear my mind and focus upon the big questions of existence such as why are we here, what the purpose is of our existence, what happens after we die and what I can really do to make a positive impact on those around me.  Sometimes I feel I get so close to the answer, like I am right on the cusp of Enlightenment, where the complete understanding of The Universe and The Incomprehensible Nature of God is right at my fingertips and I feel completely at peace and calm and totally at one with the Divine, but right as I am at the precipice of THE ONE ultimate revelation, I fall right asleep.  Every freakin’ time.  I certainly hope the Dalai Lama is better at this than I am.

Last night it was almost the same story.  I was THERE.  I was at the edge of the infinite, on the verge of uncovering something deep, revealing and life-changingly* profound when I felt it starting to slip.  I was drifting off into sleep, and quickly.  Realizing what was happening yet again, I started to become distressed, a state of mind that is absolutely fatal to the meditative process.  Of course, the more distressed I became, the quicker I was being forced from all that I was seeking.  As I was falling past the point of no return, I was spiritually writhing, reaching out wildly, grasping for a realization, anything, anything at all that would convince me that I was on the right path, a simple sign that the keys to breaking the cycle of Samsara and universal enlightenment were out there and attainable by a mere mortal such as myself!

And I emerged, not into sleep but fully awake and aware.  And with an Epiphany.  I awoke with the realization that Chimichurri, an Argentinian condiment made of parsley and garlic that I usually put on steak, would go great on eggs scrambled with onions and cheese.  I don’t know where that came from, but *POOF!*, there it was.  It was like the cosmos had given me a glimpse of the opening quatrain of some future Martha Stewart Suttra.

But you know what?  It was true!  Chimichurri eggs ROCK!  I made them this morning after my workout and they were absolutely FANTASTIC!  It made my morning, put me in an awesome mood and really set the tone for making the rest of the day just as good as my breakfast was. 

On the surface, that really has nothing to do with Buddhism, and yet it has everything to do with it.  State of mind is everything when it comes to happiness and contentment.  Longing for something that you just cannot seem to attain causes distress and dis-harmony while peace and solace can be found in just learning to appreciate what you have and make the best with what you have around you.  Of course, you should always work towards what you want and strive to attain it, but not at the expense of enjoying what you already possess.

So in the end, it appears that I was denied Nirvana and given eggs as some sort of cosmic consolation prize.  Sometimes I think Buddhism is the perfect vehicle for me to keep my mind active and push the boundaries of my intellectual capacity.  Other times I think it was bestowed upon me just to give me a means of screwing with my own head.

*I am completely aware that “changingly” is not really a word.  I just do not care because nothing else really works in that context so Daniel Webster can bite me.  While we are at it, “savancy” (the act of being a savant) should be a word also and is the main reason I just can’t take those Grammer Nazis seriously.